Ryan's Birthday

Today it's Ryan's second birthday. Nancy and I wishes him a lot of joy and happines.




To be continued..........

Sporting Memories

This is a video of my last Karate tournament. Everytime I watch this video...I realise that I miss Karate a lot. I hope to continue training in the near future

Succes and Failure

Some people have it all and some just have nothing at all. Is it that the ones who succeed, are more clever and capable. And the ones who have nothing, are just stupid and incompetent? Or are they just lucky??

I agree if you say that some people have more luck than others but if it comes to capability I think we are all the same. Comparing people's capability and saying he/she had luck is mere a denial of reality.

I remember when I still participated in Karate competitions. I had one friend and "rival" who was always better than I was. Seldom I was able to defeat him. (maybe he's just lucky ;P)
At first I was quite sad when he defeated me. I always thought: "Why did he beat again?" Thousands of questions had crossed my mind....some even without an answer...
But is it really necesary to know the answers??
I once read a book called "Wisdom Energy." It's a Buddhist book with a lot of "bla bla" but it also made me realise that winning or losing isn't important at all.

A true winner is someone who worked hard for what he/she believes in, looks back and says to himself, with honest heart: "I did my best."
Results doesn't matter, but the path you walk to achieve your goal does.
Winning....losing....Succeeding.....failing.....It might matter for the time being.
When you win or succeed, you might feel extremely happy, confident, proud. Other people will appreciate you, will want to know you, RESPECT you.
When you lose or fail, you might sad, insecure, useless. Others might be disapointed in you, might revolt or reject you.
But is it really that important what others think and do?? It's just for the moment.
Time can whipe away all good and bad and even our achievements and our failures. After 20 years nobody will remember what you've achieved or not achieved today......... That's because we are human.

So in the end I think it's best to unconditionally working to achieve our own goals and don't let succes of failure stand in our way. This is how you gain respect by others and YOURSELF. And it's how you really will be a Winner........

Ryan's first words

These are some of Ryan's first words.......

Time flies.......

Three more days.......
Three more days before my son Ryan's birthday. January 27th 2005, 8,23 am in hospital "de Heel" in Zaandam was the moment I experienced mother nature's power. A miracle of life......First I saw his hair, then his head and finally he was there. After I had cut the navel-string I held him in my arms. I cried and I was filled with joy.....he is a little miracle, he is our everything, he is our son.
Two years have already gone by...it seems just like yesterday that he first smiled at me, his first bath, his first injection, the first time he got sick, the first time he said: "papa" and of course his first steps. It's so hard to believe that time went by so fast and next week he already goes to school.

But what's next??? College, university, work, mariage, children.......what will the future bring?

A few months ago, I suddenly felt sick. My stomach started to tremble, I had an aching chest. My arm felt as if they were sleeping and I couldn't breath properly. At that moment....I thought I was dying. Quite silly of my of course cause I only had some hyper-ventilation. Anyway I was so afraid at the time. Afraid of dying......all of a sudden....never in my life I have been afraid of dying. All I could think of was my family, Nancy, Ryan, my parents, my grandmother, my sister....
Why was I so afraid?? Dying wasn't that scary but the thought that I wouldn't be able to take care of family, I wouldn't be able to see Ryan grow up and spend my elder years with Nancy.
I used to imagine how empty life would be if all my loved ones were gone. What a terrible thought.
Question. Who would you like to die first?? You?? or your loved ones??
A lot of people would chose to die first so that they wouldn't have to see their loved ones leaving them. True...seeing the ones you love pass away is more painfull than dying yourself.
However, I would chose to die last....not because I am afraid of dying, but because I will be able to take care of them until they leave. And I also don't want them to sad about me. Besides, when they leave, my heart goes with them.

Ever since I got sick, I have realised how much my family means to me and I will try my best to cherish my time with them. I will enjoy every moment and do my best to provide them with a happy life.

Conclusion: Cherish life, the ones you love and make the best of every day.....Carpe Diem